


Decision

by lobstergirl



Series: Of Darkness and Silence [7]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Kylux - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 18:38:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7117924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lobstergirl/pseuds/lobstergirl





	Decision

Hux is applying lotion to the charred little tree stump. Bits of burnt bark have fallen off and almost two-thirds of the stem are laid bare. He has researched injured plants and trees whenever he’s had a free moment and has taken extra care never to spend too much time on the subject. He will not be found out again. In an essay on _vron_ flora that covers various topics from pest control to fire damage he has found the recipe for a concoction that is a little gooey but has a fresh, pleasant smell. It is fairly easy to mix, too. He applies it with a soft brush, murmuring words of praise and encouragement, careful not to peel off pieces of bark that are not ready to come off yet. It’s a bit like scab on a human wound, he thinks. It may itch but it must not be scratched off.

When he’s finished, he puts the lotion away, cleans the brush and sits down cross-legged before the stump and looks at it. It’s too early to get his hopes up and yet, hope he does. What’s revealed bit by bit does not show the dull shade of death but the soft brown his little tree had before it started sprouting leaves.

Funny that something so small should unsettle him so. He’s seen far worse, he’s done far worse. He’s suffered far worse. And he’s never thought about it twice. It’s the path he has chosen and he’s never strayed. He doesn’t believe in intellectual games and ‘what if’-questions. They lead to nothing, are inefficient, a waste of time.

And yet, there’s been nothing but ‘what if’-questions lately. The one that worries him most, the one that has very nearly broken him is, what if Snoke finds out about him and Kylo? Oh, Snoke knows they’re fucking. Kylo has told him, and also that Snoke believes it’s some form of stress relief and therefore dismisses it as irrelevant.

For now.

What Snoke does not know yet is that it’s become so much more than just fucking. They do that, too, and often – in fact, he’s still sporting an impressive bruise from being bent over, nay, _slammed on_ his immaculately clean desk –, but that impulsive, volatile hothead with a temper that may have already cost Hux a year of his life has become the centre of his universe. Hux can no longer imagine his life without Kylo in it and the thought of what Snoke would do if he found out is enough to make his blood turn to ice. He’s burnt a miniature tree. What would he do to a human?

It’s bad enough already. The finalisation of Kylo’s training has begun and Hux doesn’t like what it does to him. He says it’s alright, that he’s just physically exhausted but it’s not true. Hux sees it in his eyes and he feels it when he holds him at night. Kylo is having nightmares but not the kind that makes you wake up screaming and fall asleep again after a while. It’s the kind that makes you cry and not wake up so you’re trapped inside an infinite loop of misery while you’re sleeping.

Hux wonders how much longer it’ll be before Kylo breaks. For all that he’s immensely talented and especially gifted with the Force, he has no military training. He’s never learnt to guard his emotions, how to withstand interrogation and torture, how to detach himself. Hux doesn’t know a lot about Kylo’s childhood but he suspects it must have been a sheltered one and little Ben has grown up amongst people who loved him and wished him no harm. Kylo doesn’t even blink before he drops his guard around Hux and he gives himself over to pleasure with an ease that makes Hux a little jealous. Tapping into his still trusting soul and crushing it should be child’s play for someone like Snoke.

Hux cannot allow this to happen. However, an assassination attempt at short notice exceeds even his impressive organisational skills, and playing false games is out of the question. He loathes duplicity. One has to choose sides. Everything else is just muddling through, and Hux doesn't muddle. He does, or he does not. That's how he was raised.

Consequently, there's only two options.

Option one will cost him everything but it’s quick, efficient and final. It’s also utterly cowardly and therefore unacceptable.

Option two may cost him everything but not necessarily so. There is a number of factors to consider and he mulls them over in his head, weighs the pros and cons, runs through different scenarios and finally tries to figure out how to approach Kylo because no matter how he angles the issue, he cannot do this without his help. It will not go down well with him, that much is certain.

The buzz of the intercom makes him jump. He gets up and almost falls over because his left foot has fallen asleep. He suppresses a curse and takes a deep breath.

“Come.”

The doors slide open and Kylo comes in. He has his lightsabre in his hand and an expression on his face that Hux cannot read.

“How’s the tree?” Kylo asks and Hux, at the same time, “How was the session?”

They laugh, but it’s an uncomfortable laugh.

“You first,” they say simultaneously.

There’s a pause. Kylo opens his mouth but Hux is quicker.

“I need to speak to your mother,” he blurts out.

Kylo flinches and Hux holds his breath. For a moment, they just look at each other.

Then one side of Kylo’s mouth curves into a lopsided grin and he hooks his lightsabre to his belt.

“So do I,” he says. “But I can't do it alone.”


End file.
